Resilience
By Jeniffer Dias
When I learned I had an opportunity to participate in the Voices to End FGM/C workshop, I first talked with my mentor, Bárbara Oliveira, and told her that I would like to talk about myself. She told me: “This is the moment to remove your ‘mask’ and talk about you, about who you are, and how strong you have been with being alone all your life. And how you protected yourself from being afraid, from being rejected, or from people trying to do what your father did to you. You are far away from that and free.”
So I decided to talk; talk about what I did, and still do to protect myself from my past. And I decided to talk about my resilience, and how it has pushed me in my studies, work, and everyday life, to not let others hurt me again. As I usually say, resilience is the ability to accept that life has four seasons, and no matter how difficult and cold winter is, it will end. And then the spring comes, which makes me forget all the suffering that the cold caused me. Then I start to contemplate the flowers, the green fields, the birds chirping, and the rebirth of life. For me, resilience is my inner strength, my faith, the engine that exists within me that does not allow me to stop or remain shaken for a long time in the face of complicated situations; in the eyes of others, it would be impossible for me to find a way to survive or get out of it.
The decision to talk wasn’t easy, however. Hours before the first virtual meeting, I was so nervous. I did a lot of things to distract myself because my mind just didn’t want to accept having to talk about my terrible past. I was also worried because the last time I opened up to people about myself, they started treating me differently. So when I started talking I was afraid, but when the meeting finished I felt at peace with myself.
I learned a lot during my workshop experience, especially about how powerful women can be stronger together. I also learned that, in working together, our voices can have an impact, improving and changing others’ lives. I felt welcomed and part of the group; everybody treated me very well. I felt love, peace, at home, and all these things helped me to create my story.
I am proud of my ability to use the bad things that I had to live with during my childhood (psychological, emotional aggression, humiliation, and abandonment), and transform them into love, affection, and care for others. Creating my story was like officially removing any relationship from being afraid of being rejected. It was like a shout of freedom.
I would like my story to have a positive impact. I want my story to inspire others to share the message that everything is possible when you believe in yourself. Regardless of what others say or do to stop your dreams, you can accomplish them. My goals are to be an ambassador at the United Nations, and to work with children’s rights, to protect them against physical and emotional violence. I also want to have a family, to travel, and to be happy. I believe I can accomplish these goals with determination and Resilience.
Jeniffer Dias, is Portuguese born in Guinea-Bissau. Jeniffer graduated from Universidade Nova de Lisboa, where she studied Political Science and International Relations.
She has a strong comprehensive view of diplomacy, international relations, and human rights. Currently, she is carrying out research for her Master’s degree in International Relations with a focus on Child Marriage.